Shout Outs

Lately some of my friends have been accusing me of not loving them enough cause I don't mention them on this here blog thingy. But they are certainly worthy of mentioning--so Schwartz, Jamie, Dawn, Deb and Kamo (if you're still reading this) this entry is especially for you! Happy Halloween;)

Priceless Evidence and Ammunition

Letters from Camp Blue Star prisoner Stephanie Green to best friend Dana:
July 25, 1988 (age 12)
Dana,
Camp is very educational; just kidding. It's okay, but I'd rather be home. When is school orientation? We have two all-Spanish speaking girls in our cabin and this one really weird girl. She's huge and fat and acts like she's a gay cowboy! She really scares me! I'm scared that she's gonna come kill us during the night. She probably will sooner or later, so maybe I won't ever see you again. So you'd better write me! And will you call Heidi at 739-0325 and give her my address here and put it on the envelope. Did I leave anything at your condo? If I did, please send it to me. You'd better write me back!
Steph

Aug. 5, 1987 (age 11)
Dana,
How's life? Well, I can tell you one thing, it's not too great here. Today is Tish'Bav, the Hebrew holiday where we remember the two temples that were burned down and we remember the 6,000,000 Jews who were killed in the Holocaust. Can you send me stationery with lots of envelopes? Me and Kelly have been getting into lots of trouble. Our cabin is the worst in the unit. Nothing is new. Say hi to everybody in Jax.
Luvya,
Stephanie

Dear Dana (Date unknown; summer I was forced to stay 8 weeks instead of 4 weeks; probably 13 years old)
I am so pissed at my fucking mom. Everybody in the cabin gets letters and packages every day and I wrote nine letters and she has not gotten one! I hate her. She writes the gayest letters. I'm sick of her shit! Have you gotten my other letter? Will you write me and send me food? I'm going to come home after one month! It sucks shit here. Do me a favor and call my mom and tell her to send me food and tell her I've written her nine times!
Love,
Stephanie

Even Didion Gets Down

Direct quote from Joan Didion's reading last night at the 92nd Street Y, regarding her thought process when she wakes up to face a day of writing: "The last thing the world needs is another novel--certainly not this one." Well, then. She also says in her latest tome that depression is a normal part of every writer's existence, including her own and that of her late husband John Gregory Dunne. I find both these conclusions comforting, not that I'd dare compare myself to Joan...

What Does 30 Feel Like?

Absolutely exhausted from Miami, but in a good way. While in Bermuda, on my own 30th, my parents and brother came up with a rather funny, sardonic list entitled "30 Reasons Why We Love Stephanie." Dana suggested posting it here. Parentheses are my footnotes. Enjoy.
1. She's beautiful outside (Frankly, it's kind of scary that this is reason #1 for my parents loving me, um, hello?!)
2. She's beautiful inside
3. She is a good mother to Wally (And that's about as much of a mother as I'm willing to be.)
4. She is stylish and fashionable (Again, what the hell?)
5. She always lands on her feet (Um, yeah, not so much really.)
6. Her family is very important to her
7. She is an excellent writer
8. She makes good reason for a family vacation
9. She is cool and even-tempered (Enter the sarcasm from here down.)
10. Her fashion sense is so poor, when she's with Michael, she makes him look like Versace
11. She has an affinity for the finer things in life
12. She has cable and the Internet (Michael's contribution.)
13. She never bothers me with the details of her dating life (Michael again, sarcasm in full effect.)
14. She has the best public shitter north of 14th Street (Michael, it's not public. Personally, I like the Four Seasons.)
15. She has a knack for picking out the New York apartments with mice
16. She knows how to work the American Express Concierge system
17. She loves children and can't wait to have them (Again, enter the sarcasm.)
18. She can lead you around Bergdorf's blindfolded (Thanks to you mom.)
19. She has a lot of sympathy for the lower class (Oy, swear, the folks are not elitists. Nor myself. Most of the time.)
20. She evokes fond family vacation memories, e.g. Hawaii
21. She runs the best B&B in NYC, with a smile on her face
22. She has inherited qualities such as lack of patience, expensive taste in clothes and jewelry through no fault of her own
23. She is well educated, well read and well bred
24. She will sacrifice comfort for Manolos any day
25. She will help Michael and Mom take care of dad when he turns senile any day now
26. She can't wait to come back and settle in Jacksonville
27. She is able to find humor in most situations
28. Her next boyfriend won't have an Air Jordan tattoo
29. She has always been focused on her goals
30. She is the youngest official member of the Girls' Shopping Trip and a Great partner in crime

Screw You Guys, I'm Going Home

Heading to Miami for BFF's big 3-0. Recent pics for sharing with friends and family...

Books are for kids

So I've been on another writing binge and it's about time, cause I've been too busy with my social life to devote enough time to writing. I've got nearly 100 pages already, and let's just say that this book is much more literary and more in line with the type of book I've always wanted to write. Kind of a Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing meets Sex and the City. It feels good to be writing again, though I'm hoping this one won't require the services of my talented but expensive attorneys.