Monday, March 09, 2009

So—one year ago tomorrow was my very first chemo treatment. One year and what a crazy one. Everyone—even fellow BC chicks—ask how I've been changed by this year. It's impossible to summarize; I think that those who know me best are the best ones to judge how it's changed me. For the better, for sure.

Thursday I head up to New York for another Cancerversary, the chemo one. It's the time last year when I went and had Ralf shave my head. When I got the wig and the worst side effects from that first chemo in the same few days.

God, I just looked at the above post and had a visceral, I-want-to-throw-up reaction. I never want to be the person in those photos again. Ever. I don't think I will; I really don't. I'm sure as hell doing everything preventatively that's available. But at moments like these, where I can look back over a terrible year and see that I've come out the other end healthy and happy, it pains me to think of the amazing people I've met who aren't so lucky in the Big C department. I wish I could do something for all of them, I really do.

One thing I can say about how my Cancer experience is that it made me even more grateful and awed by how truly blessed I am in the grand scheme of things—by my family, friends and even strangers.

I think I'll upload the video of Ralf shaving my head. I think I can do it now. I think it's time.