Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Playing House

Gay boyfriend and I had a little harmless fun today. He had a broker's open at a schmancy building south of 5th Street and another showing at a not-so-hot building, so I tagged along. The condo in the second, not-so-hot building was straight out of Rooms to Go. It had Marriott written all over it, from the stock, hotel-like, framed prints, to the flowery bedspread. It belonged to an old, Jewish woman who passed away and her child is trying to rent it out. The clients were late, so we had some time on our hands.

"Take some pictures of my boobs."

A gay man's fantasy, right?

We started out fairly normal. . .

And then he decided that I needed to roll around on the hotel bed, cancer vixen style. Unfortunately, I had a real problem taking direction and just ended up looking like an awkward girl being told to pose in retarded ways.

But, is it me or do my boobs now look almost normal? I mean, the swelling has gone down so substantially that I'm actually amazed. And this really solves my wardrobe quandary. Packing light for NYC. And those are my compression garments for the lymphedema on the left arm. Better than being mummified.

So what do we think of the new rack now that it's settled?

Insider Information

My Facebook friend, Reliable Sources host and Wash Post columnist Howard Kurtz posted an interesting story today detailing the John Edwards Schmucko story and the media's role in covering up this scandal.

As a marginal media insider, I can tell you that this happens on pretty much every story. If you have friends who work at publications, chances are you hear of things days, weeks, even months before they break in the mainstream media. Why doesn't the media report these things immediately, pounce on unfolding stories, break stories? Breaking stories, in the tradition of journalism, is something we just can't rely on CNN or the NYT to do. Stories are 'broken' in the newsrooms, sat on, and finally, once the higher ups feel snug in their legal clearances and other corporate BS, told to the public.

Howard talks about the National Enquirer being the first pub to break the Edwards story. As a former American Media slave, I can assure you that the Enquirer is actually one of the most reliable sources in the industry. They go to great lengths to ensure the validity of their sources and their stories; much greater lengths than the mainstream media. My mentor, the EIC of a major mag, told me when I first met him that he read the Enquirer every week to stay one step ahead of entertainment news. Hmm, I thought, if Gary does it, he's onto something.

When I worked at Star, friends, family and even strangers always asked me how much of what they print is true. And believe it or not, I'm confident in saying that probably 99.9% of what they write is true. They vet their stories thoroughly, dot every i cross every t. Their techniques? Sleazy, to be sure. But effective.

In other news, about me of course, I walked to 7-11 in my bathing suit and bathrobe this morning and I'm wondering if I'm officially a beach bum right now. Natch, it's not sunny out so I'm sitting here writing, waiting for the skies to clear. I also must massage the modified mammaries today. We'll see if this makes a diff in terms of their appearance.

I'll probably write more later, but I want you to read Ellie's comment from yesterday's post, and to realize that while I *had* cancer (I can now finally use the past tense without the fear of jinxing myself), and fought it with humor and what a lot of you say an inspiring attitude, people like her are the real inspirations. So I'm going to do--because she can't physically without great discomfort--what I know how to do, write in my memoir, while I have time and motivation. If people get to read it, fine. If they don't fuck it. I know I'll be glad to have it when I'm officially old and forgetful.

And for fuck's sake read the article I posted yesterday and share your thoughts people.