Thursday, November 02, 2006

Things That Make Me Go Grrrr

My car.
It insists on having its oil changed, tires rotated and aligned and likes to leave me "messages" on the dashboard. E.G. "wiper fluid out, please refill," except the wiper fluid is not out, thank you very much. And this one: "service type 2 required in 24 days." What, do I speak Latin now? I'm supposed to thumb through the 290-page manual to figure out what "type 2" is? God, words cannot express how much I loathe driving and specifically my car. Take a lesson from me people, do not let your parents buy your car from eBay, especially if you have not driven in six years and therefore don't understand the significance of taking it for a test drive. Oh, and I have I mentioned that the schmancy CD player won't play burned (or in Mercedes lingo, "copyright protected") CDs? That's why I listen to audio books. Well, that and the fact that I'm a completely lame geek.

Publix and Grocery Store Clerks.
Now, Mich, maybe you can answer me this question or start a campaign or something against grocery store baggers. Could the country's recycling issues not be resolved merely by grocery store clerks just cutting down on the sheer volume of bags they insist on using? Does each item really need its own separate bag? Do my soy chips really require their own plastic entity? Are my bananas really going to be irreparably damaged if they touch my frozen dinners? The overuse of grocery bags infuriates me irrationally, I think because I have to carry them from my car to my apartment, so I insist on consolodating everything into as few bags as possible in my wretched car. This results in the front seat of my car looking like a Publix shopping bag repository.

Network TV Executives, Nielsen TV Ratings and The American Public in General.
Oh, you're yanking Studio 60 already? Big surprise--it's smart, engaging, culturally relevant and cutting-edge, just what America doesn't want. Aaron Sorkin's brilliant and beautiful dialogue is just a little too smart and witty for you? Four episdoes weren't enough to garner high ratings? Do you think that perhaps it has to do with the horrible time slot it was shoved into, as lame-ass, overeducated peeps like me, who are probably the show's target audience, are tired at 10 p.m. cause we are now old and lame? Oh, and I'm still smarting over Arrested Development. Perhaps the most brilliant show ever created. Ever. As much as I hate my car is how much I love AD. Love, love, love it. Why didn't HBO buy it? Why am I still obsessed with it? Maybe because it's brilliant and I'm lame and need to get a life.

Desk chairs.
Why are they so uncomfortable? Even now I have to quit typing and get up and stretch because my desk chair and my damn car aggravate my tendonitis. That's my rant for today.