Killing me Softly

After two flights, the second of which I made with seconds to spare after they held the plane in Charlotte due to the previous day's blizzard, a 6-hour drive down to Miami, approximately 50,000 muscle spasms, 200 yoga poses, 20 packs of ice, 30 Naproxens, and, as of today--thanks to an interstate call from my Park Ave. general practitioner to the CVS pharmacy nextdoor to the family biz in South Florida--four painkillers, the Dish has officially landed in Dade County.

It's been a crazy, combustible, stressful, hazy week of family, pain, doctors, dogs and work, yes, that's right, work, but things are finally falling into place. Spent the past two days observing the family biz and plan to start work down here in April sometime. Going to scout pads tomorrow in Miami, with the intention of signing a lease by April 1. All the buildings in the area I am looking in are condos, which means even to rent one needs board approval. So we'll see; on the plus side, you don't have to pay broker's commissions down here.

The leg/soft-tissue damage/sciatica/fuck-if-I-know condition is fucking killing me, and the driving doesn't help. And I'm now safely ensconced at my BFF's pad in Miami, but she is preggers with indigestion, heartburn, nauseau and the like, and I'm limping around like a gimp, so the two of us make quite a pair. 13 years ago we were raising hell, turning our parents' hair prematurely gray. Now, we are turning in at 11:30 p.m. and quite content with that. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Popped two painkillers when I got the scrip today, promptly got double vision and woozy so had to hitch a ride to meet BFF in Aventura, leave the car at the aunt and uncle's and limp into BFF's condo. Hoping a good night's rest + two more painkillers will do my leg and nerves some good. Otherwise, this here 30-cum-80-year old will literally be wheeled back to NYC.

On the positive side, did I mention that the hours of the family biz are roughly 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.? And that it's like 75 and gorgeous here right now? And that there is no state or city income tax in Florida? And that my new apartment will most likely be at least 1,000 square feet with a balcony, water view, tennis court, gym and valet parking? And that I have not seen even on rodent? Even in as much pain as I am in, life is so much sunnier down here. Girls, what are you waiting for? The men aren't so bad either. And don't even get me started on closet space...