Monday, October 17, 2005

What Does 30 Feel Like?

Absolutely exhausted from Miami, but in a good way. While in Bermuda, on my own 30th, my parents and brother came up with a rather funny, sardonic list entitled "30 Reasons Why We Love Stephanie." Dana suggested posting it here. Parentheses are my footnotes. Enjoy.
1. She's beautiful outside (Frankly, it's kind of scary that this is reason #1 for my parents loving me, um, hello?!)
2. She's beautiful inside
3. She is a good mother to Wally (And that's about as much of a mother as I'm willing to be.)
4. She is stylish and fashionable (Again, what the hell?)
5. She always lands on her feet (Um, yeah, not so much really.)
6. Her family is very important to her
7. She is an excellent writer
8. She makes good reason for a family vacation
9. She is cool and even-tempered (Enter the sarcasm from here down.)
10. Her fashion sense is so poor, when she's with Michael, she makes him look like Versace
11. She has an affinity for the finer things in life
12. She has cable and the Internet (Michael's contribution.)
13. She never bothers me with the details of her dating life (Michael again, sarcasm in full effect.)
14. She has the best public shitter north of 14th Street (Michael, it's not public. Personally, I like the Four Seasons.)
15. She has a knack for picking out the New York apartments with mice
16. She knows how to work the American Express Concierge system
17. She loves children and can't wait to have them (Again, enter the sarcasm.)
18. She can lead you around Bergdorf's blindfolded (Thanks to you mom.)
19. She has a lot of sympathy for the lower class (Oy, swear, the folks are not elitists. Nor myself. Most of the time.)
20. She evokes fond family vacation memories, e.g. Hawaii
21. She runs the best B&B in NYC, with a smile on her face
22. She has inherited qualities such as lack of patience, expensive taste in clothes and jewelry through no fault of her own
23. She is well educated, well read and well bred
24. She will sacrifice comfort for Manolos any day
25. She will help Michael and Mom take care of dad when he turns senile any day now
26. She can't wait to come back and settle in Jacksonville
27. She is able to find humor in most situations
28. Her next boyfriend won't have an Air Jordan tattoo
29. She has always been focused on her goals
30. She is the youngest official member of the Girls' Shopping Trip and a Great partner in crime