Uuuuuuggggghhhh. If these people win, I am selling everything and moving to Amalfi. Or perhaps Peninsula Papagayo, Costa Rica. Either way. Why, tell me please, is Canada such a popular expat destination when there are so many other beautiful choices just as close?

Anyway, McCain's double-talk and Palin's everything are sending me and all my friends straight over the edge.

Hey, Palin, I live just miles from Cuba; maybe I should call myself a Castro expert? Or perhaps I, by geographic proximity, am a secret agent for Mexico. In fact, I've been to Costa Rica, Mexico, the Bahamas and I've flown over the rest of our 'neighbors,' so I think I'll run for Miss International Diplomacy.

Seriously, it's like watching her do Tina Fey doing her. As gay boyfriend said: "I keep waiting for the end of this whole thing when Palin reveals that it's really been Tina Fey posing as her all along."

And I thought Biden did great and is uber-informed on economics and foreign policy, but the real question nobody addressed: Why the fuck are his teeth so inhumanly white? Are they dentures? Caps? Veneers?

When he smiled for the first time my eyes hurt.

Oh well, I called for my absentee ballot yesterday. The deadline in Duval County for doing this is Oct. 29th, FYI. A Democratic vote is much-needed in Duval County, whereas down here, maybe not. If the Bubbes have learned to use the machines, that is.