Friday, March 28, 2008

So Afrika Baby Bam from the Jungle Brothers, aka Beau as you all know him, and I are getting crazier by the day. I think I'm rubbing off on him. Poor thing. And what's with this lame ass site? They publish my ghetto photos and keep talking about Bam's 'homosexuality;' are there not any other rumors for them to harp on? The comments are the cherry on the cake—every single one is an advertisement! Enough said.

I'm not very coherent at the moment. The cancer drugs not only make me fatigued and queasy, but they totally fuck with my short-term memory, for real. Lots of weird stuff happening as usual. Last night Bam and I were sitting on the couch flipping through the channels after The Apprentice—can someone please tell me what the winner actually won??—and I saw Oxygen's Snapped pop up on the guide. Dad had a case many years ago that got a lot of press. His client allegedly hired some thugs to kill her hubby cause he was stepping out on her with a teenager. Ick. The trial was live on Court TV and was the focus of an episode of Snapped and A&E's American Justice. Anyway, last night I paused on Snapped and hit info. Sure enough, dad's episode. Just random.

You guys should see Bam and me—plus Wally—padding around my apartment day by day. I'm having hot and cold flashes like a motherfucker, so my AC goes from about 65 to 80 in any given hour. Bam's always cold, so he walks around with my cancer blanket. He slept in my pink Natori bathrobe last night cause he was cold, and I stripped off my nightgown in the middle of the night cause I was boiling. And he's pretty much allergic to everything, including dogs, so natch Wally loves him and insists on crawling all over him and trying to lick him. Wally usually hates men I bring around. Today I'm sitting here doing this and cleaning, while Bam's out practicing for his 5 a.m. performance. It's the Winter Music Conference this wkd, so all the industry people are in town. My ass will be passed out obv, but if I were healthy I'd love to go see him do his thing.

If my deceased relatives are watching my life from up 'there' right now, I wonder what the hell they are thinking. . . .

Today we logged footage from the first tape of my ongoing documentation of this whole cancer thing. The first tape takes us through me waking up from my lumpectomy—when we all thought the lump was benign—to the visits to the oncologists etc. I have to say, I have a very entertaining posse. And sadly, my mom and Lynn look better on camera than me. Time for some more Restylane. And my hair looks so good on camera. I always took my hair for granted; now I want it back. I just want this whole thing to be over with already. As usual, the waiting is the most unbearable part.