Birthday Blues

19 days till the big 3-0. I don't know what exactly I expect to happen on this day--head will explode, looks will fade at lightning pace, grim reaper will come to collect?--but I am completely freaked out by this route marker. I've always been a little obsessed with the significance of insignificant things I suppose, but at the same time, 30 is a big deal any way you look at it. I feel that I have very little to show for my three decades here on earth, and that, that is the real heart of the issue. Hence my need to vacate the country for the week of the big day and to be with my rocking family who puts up with my incessant bullshit. Thank God for my family and friends ...