Monday, March 03, 2008

The Boob Bomber

I am flying out of Jax to FLL Weds afternoon. Because of my lymph node removal, I still have one alien drain:
This one is coming from under my left arm, where the nodes were excised. So I have one container with liquid. I tape the cord to my obliques and pin it up inside my shirt.

Mom: "Do you think you'll be okay to fly with the drain in?"

Dad: "Why not it's just liquid?"

Me: "Yeah, why not?"

Mom: "We-ell, what about security?"

Me: "Oh yeah, I have the port in my chest! Is it metal?"

Mom: "No, I mean the liquid in the drain's container!"

Dad: "What about it? It's just liquid?"

Me: "Yeah, I'll just empty the container before I fly."

Mom: "Noo [getting frustrated] I mean for security! The liquid restrictions!"

Me: "Oh my God. You mean like the Boob Bomber? Are you kidding?"

Now we're all cracking up.

Me: "Maybe I'll just put the container in a Ziploc and have it hanging out of my shirt!"

Dad: "Yeah, at least it'll be less than 5 oz."

Me: "Damn, this is why I need a handheld videocam! Can you imagine?"

Oh, we do crack ourselves up.

From A port infusion uses an under-the-skin (subcutaneous) port that has been implanted by a surgeon. The port is located either in your arm or your chest, and is connected by a soft, slim catheter tube that goes through your vein all the way to your heart. This catheter protects your vein during treatment.