Tag and I'm It?

Oh, what the hell? I'm bored and I don't want to be jinxed. I'm off to see the fam tomorrow, so happy 4th to everyone.

"It appears other bloggers occasionally play a game of �tag�, where you have to answer some question(s) and pass it on to five other people."

Scott tagged me and I just plagiarized his text cause I'm uber-lazy right now.
Instructions:
1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. In the Search box, type your birth month and day (but not year).
3. List three events that happened on your birthday.
4. List two important birthdays and one interesting death.
5. One holiday or observance (if any).


Events of September 17th:
1. 1787 - The United States forms and becomes a country.
Duh, even I knew this. My birthday is, like, soooo cool.

2. 1928 - The Okeechobee Hurricane strikes southeastern Florida, killing upwards of 2,500 people. It is the third deadliest natural disaster in US history, behind the Galveston Hurricane of 1900 and the 1906 San Francisco earthquake.
This seems apropos given my new locale of a million hurricanes.

3. 2001 - The Late Show with David Letterman is the first TV talk show to return to the airwaves six days after terrorists attack the United States in New York City and Washington D.C.
Not so significant, but since it was my birthday and I was in NYC during the attacks and actually saw the towers aflame from the Village where I was in grad school, I remember this day particularly. This day of that year was the first time I had gone out to dinner since the attacks and I recall precisely the eerie sort of calm that was still pervading the city. People were finally eating out again, but everywhere, even the most social of places including Serafina on Madison, where I was, felt somber and rightfully so.

Birthdays:
1. 1931 - Anne Bancroft, American actress (d. 2005)

2. 1935 - Ken Kesey, American author (d. 2001)

Death:
1996 - Spiro Agnew, Vice President of the United States (b. 1918)
Grasping at straws here.

Holiday or Observance:
United States - Constitution Day (observed on the previous Friday if it falls in a weekend)
Or, how about my freaking birthday? Kidding, I actually loathe my own birthdays. Though last year's in Bermuda was the best I've had yet, as it involved a group of naked Canadians and the Bermudian police. Awesome.

You're it:

Always Double Back

Pan Kisses Kafka

May December

Mimi New York

Happy Anniversary to You

OK, usually I pay no mind to the spineless anony-commenters who for some reason have nothing better to do than read a stranger's drivel, but sometimes these people require rebuttals. I received this comment today:

"I have a very hard time reading your blog due to your incessant blasphemy...can't you be charming or funny or brilliant without cursing God? I just can't read this sort of stuff anymore....it breaks my heart when someone I love is spoken of cruelly."

Well, first, why the God damn hell are you reading my Semitic, un-Godly blog? For Christ's sake, I wore a shirt that says "Heeb" on the chest to the gym yesterday. If you are looking for God honey, you are clearly on the wrong page. Religion ranks about as high in my book as say, ice hockey or dodgeball, and I'm one of those left-wing commies who believe that organized religion is truly the opiate of the masses.
So I have a few things to say to you, oh mighty proselytizer: Get a life. Get an independent mind. Get a hobby that doesn't involve immolating your own autonomy to a faceless, ethereal, "being." And go read someone else's thoughts.

On a more pleasant note: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to mom and dad, who have been happily--truly--married for 35 long years. Jeez. I can't even imagine it. Some pics of our lovely family from Dana's wedding last July 4th in Napa. My parents, as I've said before, and as anyone who knows them will readily attest to, are pretty hard to beat. They're fun, they're cool, they're generous, they're smart, they're cultured, they're successful, they're liberal, they're tolerant, they're nice and they have set great examples. They're are a tough act to follow, but they rock.

Spa Daze

Jeez I am tired. What's that Rilke quote about inertia? I am too wiped to look it up. I had a very relaxing weekend, having spent the better part of Saturday at this spa with some of my girlfriends.

Standard Hotel Miami

Had a nice massage, chilled by the pool and sweated in the Turkish baths and steam rooms. They have this rather hedonistic sort of room, pictured above, called a Hammam room, that "encourages group relaxation." It's almost impossible not to conjure up orgiastic images while in there. It's coed and one chick was topless, though all the men were thankfully fully clothed. It's a pretty cool hotel and spa though, and for $25 per day, you can access the Hammam, steam rooms, pool etc., so I think I'll definitely go back.

Our fair basketball team seems to have clinched the NBA title, a spectacle that I both witnessed (from the vantage point of a barstool) and heard (through my windows, which overlook the bay, not far from the American Airlines Arena).

I also began physical therapy, which, contrary to what most people say, really isn't a big deal. The PTs say that I was OVERSTRETCHING, so folks, beware of stretching yourself silly, as I was doing. I'm finally back in the gym regularly, thank fucking God. The weather is still nice, though approaching the triple digits rapidly. The storms have yet to begin. Some recent pics of the Miami crew.

And whilst Googling today, I discovered that I've made it into some random blogger's dictionary thingy. But if I wanted to get picky, I would say, "Dishalicious" as I conceived of it, translates into something like: dishy + delicious, or deliciously dishy.
Celebrate Today

You Can't Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

Another action packed weekend from which I am still recovering. I was out Weds to Sunday, so last night I took a much needed night off and relaxed with Entourage, which has finally righted itself after a disappointing opener. Friday night I dined at Red Fish Grill, which is in an exquisite setting on a private beach. Great date place. THE RED FISH GRILL

So my parents were in NYC this weekend with their best friends, without me:( Being that it was father's day, and also my dad's BFF's birthday, and given that I'd yet to buy dad anything and his BFF is like an uncle to me, I'd decided to make a grand gesture. My dad's favorite delicacy is the fudge cake from The Carnegie Carnegie Deli NYC.

I decided to have one of the cakes delivered to their hotel, as both a father's day and birthday gift to dad and his BFF. The delivery went off without a hitch, dad was pleasantly surprised, and I elicted promises from mom that they would bring the cake to one of their dinners. Well, they were doing serious dinners this trip, Friday night at Il Mulino Il Mulino and Saturday night at The River Cafe The River Cafe.

Mom SWORE she'd bring the cake, after the painstaking efforts I'd taken to ensure its delivery. I spoke to brother Sunday afternoon and said, "So, did mom bring the cake to dinner?"

He starts laughing and says, "Well, she's going to try to lie to you to tell you that she did, but really she didn't because they couldn't get it opened and it weighs like 15 pounds."

"Huh?"

"Dude, it came, like, wrapped in this industrial strength twine and shrink wrap, and dad couldn't cut through the rope. So she made me promise to lie to you and tell you that we all ate it at dinner, but really, they couldn't even get it open, so they took it home on the plane with them."

Oy vey. Only in my family, seriously. Dad's BFF calls later to thank me.

"The cake was delicious," he lies.

"David, you're so busted, I already spoke to Michael."

Laughing, "What did he say???"

"That there is a vast conspiracy to lie to me about the consumption of the Carnegie cake."

"Ha, ha, ha. I can't believe he told you!"

Later, I speak to mom, who is essentially so innocent she's unable to lie with a straight face, "Dinner was great and the cake was amazing!!"

I start laughing, "Um, I talked to Michael."

She starts giggling. "That stinker! We honestly couldn't get it open and it was just too heavy to carry to Brooklyn. But we took it home on the plane, I'm going to eat some tonight and then we'll freeze the rest for July 4th. Oh, wait here's dad..."

"Hi honey! The cake was great!!!"

"Dad, don't even try I spoke to Michael hours ago."

"Oh, damn!!"

"And, I spoke to David too. Your Carnegie conspiracy is shattered."

When I was telling the story to someone on the phone a couple of hours later, he said, "Wow. That really brings new meaning to the saying, 'You can't have your cake and eat it too.'"



Indeed. But at least this way, I'll get to have a slice over July 4th.

Pop Culture Roadkill

My friend and I had the best of intentions last night with regards to watching the Miami Heat game. OK, so deep down I knew that "watching" really meant sipping wine while filing nails, tidying up and gossiping, but still, you get the drift. But then we realized that an earthshaking, life-altering, mind-bending journalistic landmark was scheduled to air at the same time, and we simply had to partake in such a profound historical phenomenon. That's right, the Britney Spears/Matt Lauer interview.

A defiant Britney Spears takes on the tabloids - Dateline NBC - MSNBC.com

Now, as most of you know, I worked at this bastion of journalistic integrity that may or may not be this publication called The Star. I also wrote a little novel that revolved around the underhanded activities that a research editor witnessed while working at a famous American tabloid. After having toiled in the trenches of trash journalism, my appetite for celebrity culture was obliterated. After leaving said magazine, I have not purchased, read or even glanced at one single entertainment magazine. I have not followed Bradgelina, Lohan or Spears. I have, in short, become one of those people who couldn't give two shits about celebrities. Whereas before, I was a prime source of celebrity gossip.

Suffice it to say then that I haven't read or seen anything about Britney in ages. Didn't know she was preggers again, so was shocked to see her looking like a trailer park denizen chomping on gum whilst wearing false eyelashes and sporting enough cleavage to crush Matt's head. Appearances and ironies aside--"I don't understand why people call me white trash," chomp, chomp, smack--there was something very interesting about this interview.

She spent a large portion of the interview berating the paparazzi for stalking her in order to get pics to sell to the gossip rags. A fair argument, but one that no celebrity will ever win for the money at stake in publishing. But here's the brilliant irony. One of the show's producers was none other than the illustrious Michael Lewittes,
Michael Lewittes, Gawker who was a top editor at US Weekly and The Star, and who, was, in previous incarnations as a muckraker, perhaps responsible for many scurrilous items printed in such publications about fair Britney.

Just a little observation about the small, incestuous world of the media.

Hallejewya

Thank fucking god, but I do not need surgery. I don't have a nasty popliteal cyst or even a miniscus tear. Apparently I have nothing more than a severe, persistent case of tendonitis and hamstring inflammation. I don't need surgery, just a four week course of physical therapy. I am feeling so lazy due to my non-exercise regime of late, that I'm actually psyched to begin physical therapy. Plus, my docs are the team physicians for the Heat, Dolphins, Hurricanes etc., so I think there will be plenty of eye candy at my sessions. At least I am hoping. Natch I don't follow sports, so I was pretty clueless as to who the big brawny athletes were in the office with me yesterday. Anywho, I'm very relieved and super excited that I can start working out again. I'm free to bike, swim and do the elliptical again. What a weight off.

So now that I know there is nothing gravely wrong with me, I'm feeling much better. I'm a total believer in the whole psychosomatic thing.


I had a fun filled weekend, hanging out with lots of old and new friends in the area. Friday my leg was hurting and I was going to stay in, even though I had been invited to a fab party at this hotel, which is gorgeous and worth a peek, if not just for the stellar art collection, SAGAMORE HOTEL. But then my best friend, who is, by the way, 7 months preggers, said, "I really feel like going out, let's go to the party."

How sad is it when your PREGNANT friend has to drag your SINGLE ass out??? So me, BFF and hubby did dinner at Shoji Sushi, which is owned by the Prime 112 guys, Prime One Twelve, and then headed over to the Sagamore. It was a benefit for the Miami Performing Arts Center or some such operation, and, as the case seems to be down here, was a collection of the same people I've been meeting over the past couple of months.

So though I've only been down here for about two months, I'm already spotting many familiar faces on the social scene, which is quite nice, since it takes, oh about five years to do that in NYC. Saturday night my dad's old college buddy had an amazing party at his amazing house on one of the islands on the beach, so it was a casual but chic affair with lots of food, drink and fun. I simply must move to the beach though, the cabs are getting awfully expensive and my area is just really quiet, mostly couples and not too many singles roaming around.

It's official: I'm a cripple. Orthopod's verdict: popiteal cyst or menescus tear or both? In the knee. Went for the MRI yesterday, best friend held my hand, due to my severe case of "white coat syndrome." I am now officially hopped up on Darvocet, bed rest and sneakers. The Manolos are staying put in the closet for an indeterminate amount of time. Sadly, this is the worst part about this condition--the fact that I cannot wear good shoes and the fact that I cannot stand at length, making going out very difficult. Oh, and it basically hurts to sit upright. I am in agony right now typing, hence the no-posting.

Send me to Bermuda in a Body Bag Please

My brother just got his Bermuda pics developed from September. We went there for my 30th; It was spectacular and I'm wishing I were there right now. In addition to my knee injury, which, after being on my feet all weekend, has decided to flare up again in a major way, I have developed some kind of back/neck/shoulder mess. Basically I want an IV of Percacet, stat.

Happier times...