The good news is that after about five years of having remaining cancerous cells in his prostate, dad's officially cancer free. He was diagnosed several years ago—at such a young age that my oncologists said that was a red flag regarding me and the BRCA gene—and had treatment in the city.

Natch, I was so freaked out when I learned of his cancer that I took it upon myself to find him THE best doctors in New York and practically forced him to go up there for treatment. I think this was around the time that Giuliani and DeNiro were fighting the same thing, so I sent him to their doctor. Since dad's cancer was encapsulated, he was a candidate for a really cool treatment wherein radioactive seeds are implanted in the area where the cancer is. The entire operation took about an hour at Mt. Sinai NY. His doctor, Nelson Stone, biopsies dad's prostate every year. And—though Brother and I did not know this—there have been cancerous cells in every yearly biopsy. I just found that out like last week. But dad said the doc said this is normal; that they could be old ones dying off. Anywho, everything is gone now and the doctor said he doesn't even need a yearly biopsy anymore. (His PSA tests were normal every year despite the remaining cellular anomolies.)

So now, the Green family is officially cancer-free (no kinaharea intended) whereas before two out of four of us had cancer.

The bad news: Dr. Christian Troy on Nip/Tuck has breast cancer and had a unilateral mastectomy on the season premiere last night. I have to say, I was lol the entire time even though I know breast cancer in men is serious. But I am the queen of cancer-induced laughter as you all know. Fucking Sean's in a wheelchair and Christian has breast cancer? I think these writers need to put the bong down.

But as a writer, I can see this new storyline being a useful transitional device into the duo taking on more life-threatening surgical issues. Who knows, maybe Christian Troy will become the new, cable version of my genius plastic surgeon Gary Rosenbaum.